Heigh Ho Heigh Ho... HI HO!

Well, it looks like I am headed to court. Even though it's my year for Christmas....

So court is in about a month. In the meantime, I borrowed money from my fiance. I paid my lawyer and I am hoping that I win this case.

If I don't, I am going out of town for Christmas. Because why celebrate when all I am going to do is cry all day? Yeah, fuck that.

Ad Astra per Aspera.
--K.

The Bleak Gets Bleaker

I wish I had good news. But I don't. As of right now, the only way I am going to get to see my big kids for Christmas is if a judge orders it. Their father refuses to follow the court order. I'm broke, and I really don't have a lot of fight left. But this is one thing I can't give up. He had them last year. He gets them next year. It isn't right for me to not have them this year. And he's got another thing coming if he thinks any court is going to take more time away from the little I have and give it to him. Um no. That's why I get them for school breaks. Because he has them for 9 months straight. Anyway, I really just want him to go away. To leave this planet and let me raise my kids without him around. I really can't stand that I have to breathe the same air. 

Ok, I think I am done venting for now. I'll be back, you can be sure of that. 

Ad Astra Per Aspera.

--K.

Santa Can Go Away

I just need to get this out. I know I haven't written for a while. And there's so much I could say, but I only have so much time and so much battery. Actually, the battery thing is bullshit. I can plug my computer into the wall if I want to.

I have been fighting Ariel and Jameson's dad for what feels like an eternity to have them for Christmas this year. I am supposed to have them. That's what the court said. But their father refuses to let me have them.

So I want to leave. I want to go somewhere there is no Christmas. Since it isn't likely that I will get any of my three kids for the holiday, I don't want to celebrate it at all. I don't care if everyone else does. I just don't want to be there.

Thing is, that piece of shit knows I am broke. He knows that I have no money to fight him. He knows that he makes 12x what I do. AND HE STILL DOES THIS SHIT TO ME.

God, I am so over it.

Oh yeah, his bullshit also gave me stress induced shingles. Most painful shit I have been through in my life. And I have laboured three kids and broken many many bones.

Like I said, I AM SO OVER IT.

Ad Astra Per Aspera.
-K.

[witty title goes here]

I don't have anything to say.

I just want to write stuff.

I guess I am having a bad day. I don't know why, there isn't anything to have a bad day about.

I am just... down today.

I miss R a lot. I think that might be my problem. And lately, he has been really harsh when he comes home from work and that sucks. I do my best.

I could be better at some things, like laundry and dishes. But I really do the best I can.

Anyways, I am down today. I wish I wasn't.

I miss Ariel and Jameson. I get them in 10 days and I am so excited for that.

Maybe it's the way my stupid ex treats me. I tried to send a reminder letter to make sure the things the kids need for the summer are actually sent here with them. And all he does is return with the same vitriol that he always does. It's awful. I want to kick him in his ginger balls.

This is actually making me feel better.

Ad astra per aspera.
--K.

Visitation

So, I flew to see Ariel and Jameson over the weekend. We had an awesome time.

Friday their school had a carnival. That was a blast!

Saturday I took Jameson birthday gift shopping. He got a new Make-Your-Own stuffed animal. He was so happy! Then we went swimming with his friend and family. That was a great time.

Sunday Ariel went to a play day with her friend, and I spent the day making cookies with Jameson. He invented the recipe and it was a blast. He really likes cooking, even when he has such a limited amount of ingredients to work with.

I took them both tearfully to school on Monday, and cannot wait to see them again in 11 days.

That's when the summer goes crazy. I am so excited!

Ad astra per aspera!
--K.

Software Con

Well, we are back from Software Con. We had so much fun.

R went to his classes, like a good little nerd. He actually really enjoyed it. He seems to have come away from it with a new zest for what he does. That's actually great to see. I love seeing him happy. It definitely beats the way he was when he left Star Explorer.

Elizabeth and I did some exploring of the city while we were there. We went to the zoo, which was wonderful. We walked through some rose gardens, which were absolutely gorgeous. It's some kind of American Rose Test Garden. It seems like the roses just went on forever. I would have stayed and looked for a few more hours... But we had a date with R. And after him being gone at his classes all day, it was nice to meet up with him and spend time together.

We also did a fair amount of exploring with R. We found this sushi place that came in a close second to Nobu (it's real name, because I believe that it needs to be noticed). We found this really cool salt store, with salts, chocolate, and bitters. I got lemon salt, vanilla salt, ghost pepper salt, and the best - TRUFFLE SALT!!! We also found this neat little restaurant that had AMAZING food. We got some stuff for Elizabeth at Hanna Anderson's. We went to this amazing book store too.

I took Elizabeth to this fountain in the city too. She loved it! We went twice, because we had some time to kill and I needed to go somewhere since we had to check out of our hotel.

Anyway, it was an amazing trip. I would love to go back to the city again sometime.

Ad astra per aspera.
--K.

Not Much To Say

Not much to talk about today. I had a great time at Nerd Con. And at The Ball.

The Ball was worth every penny put into it. Jameson was so incredibly happy that I was there with him. I wore my Ren Faire costume at his request. He was a little pirate. Such a good night. I let him run around and be a little boy. He never gets to do that. And what a joy it was to watch.

Nerd Con was also fantastic. R and I bought steampunk hats. OMG he looks so fucking hot. SOOOO HOT!!! He has this whole "dapper" look to him. Kinda like how Courtney B Vance looks in his top hat in that one part of "Huck Finn". Mmmmmmm....

Anyways... So now we are home from all that for a few days. It's nice to have a little break. We leave on Friday for some Software Con thing. I am just hanging out. R is actually going to the Con. It's a work thing for him.

Since I travel so damn much, he wanted Elizabeth and I to be there with him. So we are!

Like I said, not much to say.

Oh yeah... Court is September 27!

YIKES

Ad astra per aspera.
--K.